Beyond The Smalltalk: The Killer Birthday Activity (It's a Group Question)

The most wholesome way to celebrate someone

I was never really into celebrating birthdays – I didn’t like getting too much attention. Only about 3 years ago I started to change my approach to them. Instead of feeling uncomfortable about the attention, I told myself that I’m gathering some of my best friends to celebrate the many ways we showed up for each other in the past year, and to cement our friendship going into the next.

For my 36th birthday I invited my friends to a fancy dinner at a French restaurant in New York, for my 37th birthday I hosted 60 people to a Birthday & Christmas party, and for my recent 38th birthday I stood in the kitchen all day and cooked a 7-dish meal for everyone.

The one activity I like to do most when celebrating someone’s birthday, especially when everyone is together at a table, is to start sharing what we appreciate most about that person and/or what our favorite memory is with that person from the past year. You can either go in a circle or do it pop-corn style (basically whoever wants to go next).

Doing this activity brings so much mindfulness and presence to the table. It creates such an energy shift from casual celebratory banter, to gratitude, depth and reflection. But it also brings joy and laughter as many embarrassing or hilarious moments get shared. It might sometimes be a little uncomfortable to share so publicly, but not once have I done this activity and not have everyone tell me later how touching and memorable it was to hear everyone’s stories.

Usually we do this activity without much prep work, but there have also been times where I messaged the people that I knew would be going to the same birthday, and suggested we would do a group share about what we love most about the birthday host. It gives people a bit of a heads-up and the opportunity to reflect on what they want to share.

Try it out, it is by far the most wholesome way to celebrate someome.