Beyond The Smalltalk: Want to Grow? Ask Your Friends This One Question
Why I asked my friends to critique me
The last time I took a leadership test, the dimension of “Growth Mindset” ranked highest for me. It’s somewhat in my nature to always be looking for new ways of growing and challenging myself. And not-so-surprisingly, I take a lot of pride in it.
As 2024 was coming to an end, I did an in-depth reflection and planning exercise, trying to review the past year and set specific goals for the next. But the one viewpoint that was missing in all of this was the perspective of people that are closest to me, namely my best friends whom I see and talk to on a regular basis.
I didn’t want to burden them with a lot of work, but there was really just one question I had mind and that I wished they could answer for me: “what is a hard truth that you think I’m not seeing?” Or in other words, “what do you think is my biggest blind spot?”
You can decide how you want to ask that question, but at its core it’s all about tapping into the the perspective of your friends who know you well, have seen your actions and decisions over time, and might have an opinion or two about what you are doing right and what things you could be doing better. So why not ask for that information?
When I asked my friends that question, I asked them to just focus on one thing (I didn’t want it to become a laundry list of grievances), and also that whatever they were going to share with me, I was not going to take personally. Since I asked that question in a group setting, it sparked a lot of debate and people wanted me to share my “one thought” in return, so always be prepared that whoever you ask for input, might ask you to do the same for them.